My Dad was involved in a car accident on the 2nd of January. Despite the speedy arrival of the paramedics, and an air evacuation to Frenchay Hospital he remained in a coma for the next week, until we gave our consent to withdraw the life support.
He died peacefully about 36 hours later holding my hand, with as much dignity as was possible.
Its been a roller coaster few weeks with good news and a rise in spirits and hopes of recovery only to be dashed the next day with negative news.
I am not a fan of hospitals, infact i hate them. So the staff who work there get my full respect and thanks. Its certainly not a job I could do.
It seems head injuries are still a bit of a grey area, and no one is sure how well the brain will recover until the patient comes around.
In my Dads case the injury was to the brain stem, and there was severe bleeding in the brain. Which inturn kills brain cells ?
They are not sure if the head injuries are a result of of the accident or the cause of the accident. Initially they thought he had had an aneurysm (sp?) and collapsed at the wheel. Then after a CT - brain scan found no problem there. But then they couldn't account for all the blood ? There didn't appear to be any external injuries to the head, no broken bones, some bruising from the seatbelt and a bruised left ear which is peculiar, as the car hit him from the right. Initially we assumed he hit his head on the side window. But when I has to emptied his minibus I could see no sign of what his head had hit if anything. No blood on anything, no print on the window, no damage to cab itself effectively and nothing to hit his head on ?? the airbag had gone off and windscreen intact and too far away. I can only assume it was the whiplash itself, and his head hit his own shoulder. I guess its tracker instincts ?
The coroner is still unsure of the cause of death, so has to perform an autopsy.
We were offered the body back minus brain to bury, but unanimously decided we would prefer him whole.
This means we have to wait a further 6 - 12 weeks before the funeral.
Its all a very sorry affair.
I am glad i had a chance to say my goodbyes, but sorry we had to go through all the ordeal of the hospital, and torturous decisions with life support. (Not helped but some very blunt and offensive surgeons.) I'm sorry he didn't wake up, but glad he didn't, and rejoin us as a vegetable - which he wouldn't have liked as an active and outgoing man - we think he would have preferred to die than to have been a burden. I'm sorry he died, but glad it was peaceful. I'm sorry it dragged on so long and he didn't die at the scene, it might have been best for all of us ? I spent days bouncing from one point of view to the other in hospital ??
I'm glad that i was there holding his hand when he passed. It is something i had to do, it was heart wrenching and horrible, but I'm glad it wasn't my vegetarian pregnant Sisters shift at the bedside. I have dealt death to a few creatures in my time, as i feel any meat eater should have to. It felt as if there was some justice in having to be on the receiving end, and that it was far better equipped to deal with it than my Sister. Any hunter has to examine their feelings and come to terms with death. I'm glad he passed peacefully in the end. I believe he chose to go by my side and spare my Sister and unborn child's feelings.
We didn't assume it was his time to go. We figured he would be around for another 20 years or so. That said really it was a good time, he has happy and relaxed, we had had a good family Christmas (minimal arguments !), he was semi retired, had some good friends, a collection of "toys" -tractors,jcb, trucks and some woods so he was enjoying life.
I feel fine. Which I find a little alarming and shameful. I don't know if I went through it all during the days before he died and came to terms with it. - I doubt it somehow ? I think being there until the last helped alto. I think I might have done a very efficient job of walling out my emotions, and stepped into the stiff upper lip "man of the family" roll. I think it might hit me when the funeral takes place.
Sorry for burdening you guys with this. But i know I have friends here who don't know my situation yet. So would rather you knew than touching a sore nerve with me later. Plus just typing it out has helped me to make put things in order.
Cheers guys sorry if it doesn't make much sense, but it a tangled mess in my mind still.
Rich
He died peacefully about 36 hours later holding my hand, with as much dignity as was possible.
Its been a roller coaster few weeks with good news and a rise in spirits and hopes of recovery only to be dashed the next day with negative news.
I am not a fan of hospitals, infact i hate them. So the staff who work there get my full respect and thanks. Its certainly not a job I could do.
It seems head injuries are still a bit of a grey area, and no one is sure how well the brain will recover until the patient comes around.
In my Dads case the injury was to the brain stem, and there was severe bleeding in the brain. Which inturn kills brain cells ?
They are not sure if the head injuries are a result of of the accident or the cause of the accident. Initially they thought he had had an aneurysm (sp?) and collapsed at the wheel. Then after a CT - brain scan found no problem there. But then they couldn't account for all the blood ? There didn't appear to be any external injuries to the head, no broken bones, some bruising from the seatbelt and a bruised left ear which is peculiar, as the car hit him from the right. Initially we assumed he hit his head on the side window. But when I has to emptied his minibus I could see no sign of what his head had hit if anything. No blood on anything, no print on the window, no damage to cab itself effectively and nothing to hit his head on ?? the airbag had gone off and windscreen intact and too far away. I can only assume it was the whiplash itself, and his head hit his own shoulder. I guess its tracker instincts ?
The coroner is still unsure of the cause of death, so has to perform an autopsy.
We were offered the body back minus brain to bury, but unanimously decided we would prefer him whole.
This means we have to wait a further 6 - 12 weeks before the funeral.
Its all a very sorry affair.
I am glad i had a chance to say my goodbyes, but sorry we had to go through all the ordeal of the hospital, and torturous decisions with life support. (Not helped but some very blunt and offensive surgeons.) I'm sorry he didn't wake up, but glad he didn't, and rejoin us as a vegetable - which he wouldn't have liked as an active and outgoing man - we think he would have preferred to die than to have been a burden. I'm sorry he died, but glad it was peaceful. I'm sorry it dragged on so long and he didn't die at the scene, it might have been best for all of us ? I spent days bouncing from one point of view to the other in hospital ??
I'm glad that i was there holding his hand when he passed. It is something i had to do, it was heart wrenching and horrible, but I'm glad it wasn't my vegetarian pregnant Sisters shift at the bedside. I have dealt death to a few creatures in my time, as i feel any meat eater should have to. It felt as if there was some justice in having to be on the receiving end, and that it was far better equipped to deal with it than my Sister. Any hunter has to examine their feelings and come to terms with death. I'm glad he passed peacefully in the end. I believe he chose to go by my side and spare my Sister and unborn child's feelings.
We didn't assume it was his time to go. We figured he would be around for another 20 years or so. That said really it was a good time, he has happy and relaxed, we had had a good family Christmas (minimal arguments !), he was semi retired, had some good friends, a collection of "toys" -tractors,jcb, trucks and some woods so he was enjoying life.
I feel fine. Which I find a little alarming and shameful. I don't know if I went through it all during the days before he died and came to terms with it. - I doubt it somehow ? I think being there until the last helped alto. I think I might have done a very efficient job of walling out my emotions, and stepped into the stiff upper lip "man of the family" roll. I think it might hit me when the funeral takes place.
Sorry for burdening you guys with this. But i know I have friends here who don't know my situation yet. So would rather you knew than touching a sore nerve with me later. Plus just typing it out has helped me to make put things in order.
Cheers guys sorry if it doesn't make much sense, but it a tangled mess in my mind still.
Rich
