Pear-Shaped Tarping

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y0dsa

Forager
Jan 17, 2008
114
0
The Danelaw
A wee story of our recent lightweight camping expedition with a few pear shapes thrown in…

Thought I’d practice some tarpology with wife and dogs. Near Buxton seemed a good idea as I also wanted some spring water to make some mead with (St Anne’s well . Its warm too). Picked a spot from the map and headed out there.

First spot wasn’t suitable, so found a second from the map and arrived as darkness was descending.

Now for the tarping bit. Well, it only took two DD 3*3 tarps, one camo basha and a great big folded up groundsheet to make our improvised shelter with lots of ventilation gaps and a fine open view. Oh, and a long length of 5mm line, some bungey cords, some guy lines, old kite string, 6 titanium tent pegs and some improvised wooden ones too. Then there were the downmats, sleeping bags, blankets, dog mats and blankets. And a food box, trangia, and gas lamp. Lucky we could park the car nearby, really. What was that about lightweight tarping?

First night was very long with a damp wind blowing up the valley, sometimes bringing low level cloud and a temperature drop with it. The silhouette of the trees against a misty night sky was lovely though. Our old dog just put his head down and curled up, snug in his home made jacket. But our 8 year old rescue Malamute wasn’t so sure, and kept getting up to check around, so pulling up the improvised pegs and then tangling herself up in her line. Several times.

Next day I didn’t feel so well, with some sleep deprivation, a banging headache, severe acid indigestion and wet feet from leaky boots. I can cope with the others, but hate wet feet.

Thought we’d pop in to Buxton first thing, to discover that there was a Police Aware sticker on our car with an incident number. So when we regained a mobile signal all hell broke loose with beeps and whistles.

First text message in was from a neighbour to say that the police had been banging on our door at 2 that morning and again later; responded to kind neighbour. Then voice mail messages from home and the away police to call them. Responded first to home police: yes, we had been “parked remotely” but all ok – they would close the incident. Next for away police: operator said she’d read the notes and that the duty constable would ring us back later. We explained our mobile signal was intermitent, at best, and left it at that.

Then back to Castle Tarp, where daylight revealed that what we’d assumed in the evening to be a bit of off road woodland, was actually very special indeed. Don’t want to say more than that… But the rain, drizzle and general dampness kept away any thought of moving, improving the set up or trying out different configurations. Had a lovely walk along the river, all white noise and dark treacle pools.

Not feeling well so went to bed early and had 16 hours sleep, broken for a couple of hours for eating, snacking and chatting. Somewhere heard an owl and saw a few stars through the clouds. Malamute much more settled – her very first bushcrafting experience – and slept with a smile on her lovely face.

Packed up in the morning and on regaining mobile signal we were hit by a blizzard of messages. A second kind neighbour (who knew we were away camping) reported that a third neighbour had been asking about our welfare (since she knew we were friends) as the police had spoken to her; responded to that message. Then multiple voice mail messages from the away police, most notably: “This is police constable X of Away police force. We are getting very concerned for your safety. We are considering helicopters and search dogs. Please, please! contact us as soon as possible”.

Home now and all is well. Many thanks to concerned neighbours and thorough policing! But solitude can be so hard to find…

So, heres the question: is Pear-Shaped Tarping a new configuration? Thanks for reading!


Tarping by Dom Beeman, on Flickr
 

Harvestman

Bushcrafter through and through
May 11, 2007
8,656
26
55
Pontypool, Wales, Uk
Thought I’d practice some tarpology with wife and dogs.

You see, that's where you went wrong. Should have used a tarp instead... :lmao:


Great story mate. It's nice to be wanted, but that's a bit much. You've got me curious about your 'special' site though.
 

Gaudette

Full Member
Aug 24, 2012
872
17
Cambs
Great story really made me laugh. Once had a similar thing but it would take ages to type on the phone. I'll save it for another day. Maybe we could start a calamity camping/bushcraft thread I bet there are some real good ones the guys would like to share!
 

y0dsa

Forager
Jan 17, 2008
114
0
The Danelaw
Thanks for the interest.

Don't want to say too much about the site as we really shouldn't have been there. Didn't realise until too late that it was actually a SSSI. Perhaps we should have guessed from the unusual vegetation etc, but hey, it was dark and raining.

There probably is a calamity camping/bushcraft thread somewhere here! Nearly lost all the photos too, but that's another story. Here's another pic. The Mal does look a bit shifty...:)


Tarping 2 by Dom Beeman, on Flickr
 
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Elen Sentier

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Great story and glad you felt better in time to enjoy. The Mal is gorgeous :), glad she's getting the hang bushcrafting. Agree with Mike, tarpology does seem to work best when using tarps rather than spouses and dogs ... mine won't ever stay still :D

Thank the gods I have no neighbours! And a Hubby who doesn't panic, Mr Mannering! I'm sure I'd set about them with an axe ... which would somewhat curtail future camping trips :lmao:
 

oldtimer

Full Member
Sep 27, 2005
3,213
1,833
82
Oxfordshire and Pyrenees-Orientales, France
Reminds me of the time I went on a hike along the crests of the massif d'Alberes in the Pyrenees with a small group of friends, leaving my wife at home at our place in France. As is often the case, we took longer than planned and night began to fall with some way still to go. We were properly equipped of course but as we in familiar territory decided to press on. Knowing how my wife worries, I attempted to call her on the mobile to put her in the picture. Inevitably there was no signal. Just at that point, helicopters started to circle overhead flashing searchlights. She's really done it this time, I thought, squirming with embarassment as I thought of the likely abuse to come from the rest of the party.

However, we got down to village without further ado and got in to find my wife watching on televsion the reports of a rescue of the occupants of a car which had gone off the road further up the valley. "Oh," she said, " you're earlier than I expected. I'd assumed you were helping with the rescue."
 

treadlightly

Full Member
Jan 29, 2007
2,692
3
65
Powys
A few years ago I managed to persuade swmbo and our son, who was 14 at the time, that it would be a good idea to go camping for a week on the Pembrokeshire coast. I found a wonderful looking site midway between Fishguard and St Davids, right on the coast ( sea views) with private pitches and fires allowed.

So, we loaded up the car and headed west along the M4, me trying to ignore the looming dark clouds ahead and my other half's anxious questions about the weather.

The further west we got the worse the weather became and my stories about how the forecast told of better things to come fell on deaf ears. We arrived early evening in the teeth of a full-blown gale. We were using a 7 man lightweight Tentipi which would normally take me no more than 10-15 minutes to put up on my own. My son and I spent the best part of two hours trying toget it to stay up, each time we tried the wind turned it into an enormous kite. Eventually we managed it but I wasn't convinced it would survive the night so I lashed the tarp I had brought to use as a windbreak/shelter for the fire over the top of the tipi. That kept it in place but meant there was no chance of a fire.

I remember lying in bed that night with the tipi rattling around and my other half saying she was sure it was coming down at any moment and me saying things like 'don't worry, its very stable in wind' while all the time secretly hoping I was right.

It rained for the whole week and the winds blew strong for most of it. The dog enjoyed it and so did I although I decided it was better not to admit to that. Swmbo has not been camping since.
 
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jackcbr

Native
Sep 25, 2008
1,561
0
50
Gatwick, UK
www.pickleimages.co.uk
We've all done it mate. I was on an overnight in the lakes. Decided to pitch up at the head of haweswater after coming off of high street. The only spot I coud find was near the car park and I waited for as long as I could for the tourists to thin out, but was cold and wet, so pitched anyway. Noticed I was getting some filthy looks, but after a short while all the cars had gone and I had the place to myself. Mobile coverage was pants, but i managed to get a message out to SWMBO that i was ok and settled. She got a message back to me that she was on the verge of calling mountain rescue. Although I'd left route plan and timings, she'd got 24 hours ahead of herself and in her mind, I was over time. Fortunately they hadn't been called, bt it would have been an easy find as I was exactly where my route plan said I'd be. Come the morning I packed up and due to the weather decided to take the long route back as the fell to Shap looked like it was going to be a foul walk. But as I got to the gate to the car park I looked back towards where I'd been camping to see I'd been virtually next to a sign saying no camping.

But there you go, what looks good at night may look a whole lot different in the morning.
 

y0dsa

Forager
Jan 17, 2008
114
0
The Danelaw
Thanks for sharing.

Happy for the thread to expand to 'that time it (nearly) all went wrong-shaped' (can one self troll?!?). Anyway, I'll try not to practice tarpology with the spouse and dogs again...

Gaudette, lets hear it!

Treadlightly: that's a lovely part of the world, and I've been thinking of walking there early this summer. Note to self: be prepared for pants weather.
 

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