what to do when you feel guilty

[knowledge=gain]

when your significant other supports your passion and lets you go hiking backpacking or bushcrafting and they are not cannot backpack hike or bushcraft...??

how do you support your significant other while your away on long trips...??

 

[billycoen]

Chocolate and whiskey seems to cut it in ours..

 

[Toddy]

I have R.A. I can't walk to the end of the street without being in pain.
My husband still walks miles, and until lock down regularly had trips off to the islands, etc., to climb.

Tbh, I was happy he could still get out and still be so active. That I can't doesn't mean that he shouldn't, if I make myself clear ?

Not having him at home was kind of a change for me too.....I got the whole bed to myself to sprawl I didn't have to mind that yes, it was lunchtime or dinner time and figure out what I was going to make, I could happily get up at 4 am and be busy knowing that I wasn't disturbing him, I could have sewing all over the floor for two days while I worked out the layout of a quilt top, all those little things...... but the silence gets to me eventually, and I'm glad when he's home safe again, but him having a trip wasn't an awful thing for me, and I didn't feel sorry for myself, or abandoned. Just it was a wee change
I'm hoping the infection rates finally start to fall properly and he gets the chance to get away again, but right now ? too many people, too many tourists, and he doesn't reckon it's worth it.

I think the best advice I could offer would be to make sure that your partner has what they need to be safe and comfortable, and make a time, and keep it, to make contact.

Himself used to have to trail a bit to find somewhere where he could get a signal, but he usually managed to phone to reassure me he was actually still alive, and not fallen down a mountain somewhere, if not every day then every second day.

Both of you will be pleased to see the other when you're back home, just mind that it's your kit, you got it mucky, you clean it up and put it by

 

[Scottieoutdoors]

Depends on your relationship really.
I think there are a few types:
1. Do the hobby together.
2. Do separate hobbies separately.
3. Take turns doing each others hobbies.
Are there things your wife/partner wants to do but maybe can't on their own that you could join in on next time?

Is it misplaced guilt? Communicate and your partner might tell you they've got a fantastic date with some rosé and a good movie lined up and can't wait for you to b****r off out into the wilderness like a lunatic!

Is there no chance of company? Could you do a light camp somewhere campsitey? Or better yet, you get dropped off and meet at a campsite x miles away?

Not saying any of those above are viable, but food for thought that might help you conjure up your answer.

 

[Woody girl]

I never felt guilty. I just explained it was much needed me time, and it was time for dad to step up for a day or two. I realise it's different for me as I did most child care and housework as t'other half worked away all week, and only made it home Friday eve to Sunday eve fortnightly.
Once every couple of months I'd go away camping on my own somewhere for a long weekend.
Son went to neighbour after school on the Friday, so I could get away, and I'd return Monday eve. Son again going to neighbour overnight Sunday, and returning home for breakfast Mon morning.
If I had not gone too far, the boys would come and pick me up Sunday evening by car from my location.
I always tried to get as far away as I could tho!
Sometimes you need to think outside the box to make things work., after all, my partner had every other weekend with no responsibility and could do what he wanted , so it was only fair.
It wasn't the traditional set up, so it could have made for a problem, but it worked well for us.
Family hols were camping, so it was normal. Often took young'un camping on the no dad weekends too.

 

[gra_farmer]

I work really hard with 12 to 16 hour working days which was normal. I never have time for myself, but trying....really trying hard to set up a descent forest school at my little girls primary school.

My wife is unwell, and struggling, and zero support from family. I always feel guilty, I feel guilty going to work and leaving her to cope with the children and not living in a real home is a burden on us all.

I used to work away from home and travel a lot for work, I used to setup everything in advance to help while away and rush back as soon as I could, often travelling back and forth 400 - 500 mile round trips in the same day, so I could setup everything again for the next day, before I headed back up to where I needed to be.

I very rarely do much for myself, and yet I feel guilty. Once I have our home sorted it will get better, but I know my health is declining from stress and worry.

 

[Scottieoutdoors]

@gra_farmer
Sorry to hear about your struggles. From one person doing long hours to another, I have some minor understanding of the exhaustion levels you must be feeling. I'm at work from 6:40am, sometimes finishing up as early as 10:30pm, other times as late as 1am and beyond...
In fact the night before last it was gone 2 as my head hit the pillow (at work 6:40 yesterday feeling shattered but that diminished), then last night asleep before midnight same time start and I felt even worse today than I did yesterday!
Must admit I don't have children which is handy on one hand, but we do want children, and both work stupid hours, so thats an added stress of getting into a situation where we have the time to actually care for another human being...