I had a 21' x 8' former mobile holiday home (1960's ridge roof model) on private land in north London without any Environmental Health Dept. or Planning Dept. problems!
I was visited and photographed by an astonishingly rude and unprofessional woman whom introduced herself as being from the Local Authority Planning Dept.
After she made a host of incorrect assumptions and accusations, all of which I was able to deconstruct and discredit, I informed her that contrary to her stated belief that I was living on the site, I actually had a contract to be at the location.
She informed me that I needed planning consent (which would be refused!) to live at the location, whereupon, I corrected her that I had an annual contract (to the value of £1:00) to provide an around the clock 'security presence' in order to deter squatters and burglars from entering the location.
In reply to her charge that I lived at the site, I replied that whilst the former mobile home was indeed designed to provide temporary holiday accommodation, I in fact used it as a 'site office', not a place of residence!
With a triumphant grin, she said that she could clearly see a couch with a pillow and quilt on it, and that I was obviously living there, she demanded an explanation for the pillow and quilt.
I informed her that as a professional, I was acutely aware or the Health and Safety implications of attempting to drive home, having provided said 'security presence' for the last sixteen hours, and that I would be comitting a criminal offense by attempting to drive, in the knowledge that I was impaired by fatigue.
I confirmed that I used the couch in order to rest sufficiently in order that I would not be impaired as a driver! I invited her to institute proceedings to remove me from the location, as I had the full support of the locals, and the police (as crime in the location had actually ceased since I had arrived 'on site') but more importantly, that I had breached no legislation whatsoever, by being at that location, for the stated purpose.
She swore at me, and shouted that she was going back to her office to immediately commence proceedings against me.
I never heard from her again!