Well, on Easter Sunday it's almost a tradition that we all go over to my Nan's house where she cooks a big dinner and then sets out a load of snacky type things on the table for the evening... but, ever the adventurer, I wasn't about to leave it there. I know more than most that you can never fully let your guard down, not even at the dinner table, and believe me, that trifle looked like it could pounce at any minute. I had no choice; I had to arm myself.
I needed to think fast; things can turn sour at any minute when you've got the trifle's sinister looking army of bombay mix encamped in front of you, so I had to use anything I could get my hands on. I swung to my left and grabbed a handful of rich tea biscuits, and after several failed atempts at trying to knap them into spear heads using a chocolate finger as a pressure flaker, I had to reconsider. Think, man, think!
I overcame my previous failures and kept my wits about me; I surveyed the table and it looked certain that the Rich Teas were my best shot. Knowing that the chocolate-finger method didn't work, I had to pain-stakingly gnaw them into shape. It was a long and mesy process, but the result was passable. Now I had an spear head, but what next?
I saw the perfect solution. Aware of the pressure of time, I reached in front of me and nabbed myself a bread-stick. Perfect! Now all I had to do was notch it, but this proved to be harder than it sounded. After a few failures, I found that abrading the end against my front teeth to be the safest method, and after a few minutes I had a notch big enough to accomodate my Rich Tea spear head... but it was wonky.
I needed to bind it tight, and time was of the essence. That suspicious looking trifle has starting to make disconcerting wobbles and I was as yet unable to defend myself. My salvation lay in celery. I'd seen the way it peels off into long fibres before, and I had a hunch that I could use this to my advantage. I had to be careful about how I used it, as it turned out to be slightly fragile... but only a short while later I'd finished my weapon!
And it was just in the nick of time! My father was walking dangerously near to the trifle, obviously under it's dangerous siren's spell. I couldn't let it get him! He was just reaching towards the enemy when I'd finally finished my spear and so, with seconds to go to avert his impending doom, I launched my mighty weapon into it's sticky custard heart!
And so the world was saved, thanks to a holiday-time buffet and a little ingenuity. Yes, my family gave me some awfully funny looks, but they were never to know how close they'd come to unimaginable disaster.
I needed to think fast; things can turn sour at any minute when you've got the trifle's sinister looking army of bombay mix encamped in front of you, so I had to use anything I could get my hands on. I swung to my left and grabbed a handful of rich tea biscuits, and after several failed atempts at trying to knap them into spear heads using a chocolate finger as a pressure flaker, I had to reconsider. Think, man, think!
I overcame my previous failures and kept my wits about me; I surveyed the table and it looked certain that the Rich Teas were my best shot. Knowing that the chocolate-finger method didn't work, I had to pain-stakingly gnaw them into shape. It was a long and mesy process, but the result was passable. Now I had an spear head, but what next?
I saw the perfect solution. Aware of the pressure of time, I reached in front of me and nabbed myself a bread-stick. Perfect! Now all I had to do was notch it, but this proved to be harder than it sounded. After a few failures, I found that abrading the end against my front teeth to be the safest method, and after a few minutes I had a notch big enough to accomodate my Rich Tea spear head... but it was wonky.
I needed to bind it tight, and time was of the essence. That suspicious looking trifle has starting to make disconcerting wobbles and I was as yet unable to defend myself. My salvation lay in celery. I'd seen the way it peels off into long fibres before, and I had a hunch that I could use this to my advantage. I had to be careful about how I used it, as it turned out to be slightly fragile... but only a short while later I'd finished my weapon!
And it was just in the nick of time! My father was walking dangerously near to the trifle, obviously under it's dangerous siren's spell. I couldn't let it get him! He was just reaching towards the enemy when I'd finally finished my spear and so, with seconds to go to avert his impending doom, I launched my mighty weapon into it's sticky custard heart!
And so the world was saved, thanks to a holiday-time buffet and a little ingenuity. Yes, my family gave me some awfully funny looks, but they were never to know how close they'd come to unimaginable disaster.
VERY GOOD! Cheers mate! 
