" Beach Meet " Uh Oh ! Friday The 13TH...

[Bucephalas]

Colin, you will be sadly missed.

(You've got off lightly son!)

[redandshane]

Thought you said panties and Scouse, for a minute then. That would have been entertaining

Just saw this post and thought

what? fancied a quick VAT free snack up the stables?

[savagebushcraft]

I only have one thing to say about that...

...This reply has been deemed "Unacceptable for Publication"...

[savagebushcraft]

Just checked the weather forecast for the meet. Looks like light rain throughout. Sun peeking through the clouds briefly, from saturday afternoon onward.

[Bucephalas]

Adam, wtf do the forecasters know?

This morning the BBC were giving rain warnings of upto 60mm of rain here today with flood warnings all over the shop.
It's about 21 in the shade with patchy blue sky and not a droplet so far.

I have ordered a lorry load of sunshine for the meet so worry not my stable friend!

[savagebushcraft]

Well it's hammering down here, has been all day. I used to have a garden, but now I have a lake. Access to the property is via a 30p ferry ride, followed by a 20 yard swim. When I went to get some chips from the freezer, a passing trawler asked directions to the nearest shoal of cats, before weighing anchor and proceeding in a northerly direction (toward the cape of fear, just past shipwreck cove), where he attempted to get more sense from a merpostman , delivering fresh sails and oars to the boat house (previously known as the town hall).

[Harvestman]

I I used to rent my property from a housing association. We were having problems with drainage, and the garden kept filling up with water and then cascading as a waterfall into next door. Repeated complaints were met with no response.

One of their rules were that we could have any pet we liked, so long as we notified them first. So I called them and said "Since our garden is currently a swamp, we are getting a pet crocodile. Just letting you know."

The drainage was sorted within the week.

I'm awfully glad we don't live there any more though.

[savagebushcraft]

I think I could get away with a few dog fish in my garden at the minute lol

[Bucephalas]

Update from Welsh horsey from sunny Wales (ok, it's no longer sunny but it's nay bad);

I have an official permission slip to attend carrot crunching country for the meet. I'll be down around 2pm Thursday and will pack wet weather gear just incase my order of sunshine is unable to be delivered on time due to weather.
Anyone else apart from Icky Sticky and Tricky Ticky (Ivans new name) attending Thursday?

[skate]

I May arrive on the Thursday, have to leave early Sunday morning!

[savagebushcraft]

I'll see if I can get my work done by Wednesday closing, then hopefully be there Thursday too. At the pub?

[Tengu]

still places availible?

and where is it?

[Bucephalas]

still places availible?

and where is it?

You've got to sort your damp out girl. Not time for sitting in the rain on a windswept beach!

[savagebushcraft]

Oh, now it's sitting in the rain? Thought you said you'd sorted that out, and not to worry about these false claims from the weatherman? Ay? Ay?

[Bucephalas]

Well done Adam, you passed the test. Just checking to see who's paying attention.

Your prize is................ 1ltr of Jim Beam!

[savagebushcraft]

Devil's cut???

[dave53]

hi everyone just been to go outdoors and bought a vango halo 200 tent reduced from £160 to £60 -15%=£52 at the till bargain will be using that at the meet as there is no real hanging places I'm getting excited now don't after about the rain as long as we all get together regards dave

[savagebushcraft]

don't matter about the rain as long as we all get together

Well said that man. (word "after" replaced with "matter", as it makes more sense )

[LRforestschool]

Did somebody mention BEACH!!!!!

xxx

I have clearly been asleep for the last few weeks

[Ichneumon]

As I understand it there's one place left Lucy, so you'd better shout loud and quick if you want it.

GM

[Ivan...]

Hi De Hi ! campers, just got off that brilliant invention the telephone ,to our Lucy , and unfortunately things have conspired against her so she will be unable to attend on this occasion and will be sadly missed , but i have promised her a late night gang phone call from camp beach to let her know what she is missing and hopefully she will be reunited with the crazy gang very soon.

On a lighter note , not long returned from a night out in Bradley Woods , very interesting safe to say it rained a bit ! Beat my previous record in a tent , now 28 hours , still i was with very good company (sorry Adam ) which made it more than bearable!

So as our esteemed gopher/car park attendant/bikini designer, Itchy said there is one place left ,(all aboard the nut bus) so be quick .

And all this talk of weather , i rather like Richies approach to it .

[Bucephalas]

My gift to you all;



Better pack your speedos and sun cream!

[savagebushcraft]

How long did you spend on photoshop making that up? Or is it the forecast from last year?

[savagebushcraft]

Here's a genuine forecast that includes Thursday and Friday. 75% and 70% precipitation isn't what I'd class as 0% chance of rain lol.

[Bucephalas]

Adam, as Odd-Ball would say,........."Don't hit me with them negative vibes so early in the morning!"

PMA my friend

If enough people believe......

[savagebushcraft]

Ah, who cares about a little rain anyway. It's a beach, can't get much wetter than that really

[redandshane]

In order that people don't think we are just a bunch of ne'erdowells messing around' I am publishing a short selection of some of the skills based workshops that will be available over the coming weekend

First up a new and exciting take on first aid-World exclusive preview

Self aid for buttock wounds. single and repeated
Our kind host Ivan has developed a very personal interest in this area and has been practicing practical self administered techniques which could save your life if you are ever stabbed in the behind.
Also some campfire chat around Lymes disease and how to catch it.
He's almost a Doctor

Next up and not to be missed if you want to appear to be moving towards an ultra lightweight set up

Rich the horse will be expanding his theories and practice around talking about a lightweight set up; while hanging a great big Zebra pot off your overfilled 70 litre rucksack.This talk may also include tips on how to manage your " ultralite" gear in the field if Rich manages one trip without losing something.

Blink and you will miss this next one

Most of us will have heard all this before and walked away disinterested; but our resident camo expert will be telling us all about concealment and the pros and cons of various military and civvy camos.
Yes Paul "as long as its green" Newman will be talking about and modelling some new and exciting developments in the colour green.This is really miraculous readers as he is in fact dead.Last chance to get genned up on the glory of green?

Something for everyone here

Social skills training-Yes I know not one for the purist schrafters but variety is the spice of life

Adam has kindly agreed to let us in the secret of his social success;in business around the campfire and strictly up the stables with the ladies
I personal;l feel I need this one so count me in Adam.
Adam will also be telling us how easy it is to get everyone else to put you to bed ;once you have mastered a few simple techniques. using only a bottle and a suggestion.
Get there early for this one or you may get the sign language version. Talented lad

The next one is guaranteed to change your life
I will be demonstrating my own personal take on foraging and the relevance of CRB checks on fellow campers.Ivan will expand on his "waste of time theory"with regard to wild foraging
A sub class on this may be my Kelly kettle demo- to get you in the mood here is a quick review "Not worth picking up"
Again Ivan will be helping out with some real forging for lobsters tips
Where is the nearest M&S?

There you go folks all this and much more, but if all this education seems a bit serious and a bit too much. I am sure we will have time in our busy schedule for general mayhem drinking eating and laughing.


Jolly Boys..........ASSSEMBLE

[Ivan...]

Thank Goodness, at last some worth while comments from one of our more educated among the group, i feel a few alterations to content.

Firstly the Lymes talk will be a closed thing , so as not to bore the masses like an old man talking about his operation scars , maybe topped off with inguinal hernia tale (old hat)

After serious research into the buttock thing , i have been misled (some old prison movie footage) It is in fact to aim at the femeral artery on the front of the thigh ,upon ringing the door bell.

The lobster forage is cancelled, as M&S only do them in the week leading up to Christmas , and the dressed variety is particularly difficult to come by due to cctv and privately employed ,heavy handed security guards .

I for one wont be attending the green man thing as i have heard it too many times before and am slowly becoming a convert , and have felt like i am dead in recent weeks anyway.

The beach seems to bring out the best in Adam (Richard Dreyfuss) and with his competition prize in the bag , this one is not to be missed , an all new episode , with exciting new content , can't wait .

On the Rich thing , i am vey keen to see the ultralite take on shoreline equipment , as even larger items can be buried in the sand , for later retrieval, always brings something new and innovative , desireable and expensive to filch.

Dave53's masterclass on ground set up is one i am salivating over , as is to physically watch him trying to sleep , and the eerie echo created by him sleeping on his back will i am sure be haunting (recording a must )

This time i am taking a real chance , not having an interpreter along , for the Sweatty forage amble ,talk,and resulting cookery class ,will i am positive be very informative , but as with all professionals , one will come away enlightened astounded but , when asked in the pub at a later date will have no idea what the bloke said .

Any additions to the list much appreciated

Thanks again Steve .

Ivan...

[savagebushcraft]

I also have a new instrument to add to the existing orchestra (previously, only a harmonica), which arrived the other day. A Jew's harp (also known as a jaw harp), which I have been looking at all week. No idea how the two instruments will sound together, as I can only attempt to play one at a time. Could be interesting if no one else wants to take one of these instruments in their mouth , as I will have to find some other way of passing air through the harmonica, or find some other orifice to press the harp against...

...still, I'm sure it won't make any difference once beer o'clock hits.

[redandshane]

I also have a new instrument to add to the existing orchestra (previously, only a harmonica), which arrived the other day. A Jew's harp (also known as a jaw harp), which I have been looking at all week. No idea how the two instruments will sound together, as I can only attempt to play one at a time. Could be interesting if no one else wants to take one of these instruments in their mouth , as I will have to find some other way of passing air through the harmonica, or find some other orifice to press the harp against...

...still, I'm sure it won't make any difference once beer o'clock hits.

See folks these genuinely are social skills to be marveled at; watch and learn as Adam uses cheap musical instruments in his very own up the stables way