2k post what shall we do? Comp and request.

**Barn Owl** · 22-10-2010, 20:22

My two thousandth post..

Like to say thanks to all for everything

Will you join me in giving one pound sterling to the charity of your choice?

I have a vic' silver alox soldier,used but in good nick that I'll gift to the person who posts up a bushcraft themed photo that my youngest (17yr old daughter and enjoys the countryside ) thinks encapsulates our beliefs best.

If you don't have your own photos or can't load them up then the funniest joke that I judge wins a sheffield edc pocket knife.

Hope you can join in.

Thanks,
Tom.

**British Red** · 22-10-2010, 20:29

Go on then - I'll give it a go:

Deer on Horizon by British Red, on Flickr

Money goes to Shelter

Red

**telwebb** · 22-10-2010, 20:29

what an excellent way to mark it - I'll do the quid thing, but your girl is probably more clued up than I am! Congrats Barn Owl

**Toddy** · 22-10-2010, 20:36

Delighted to Tam

Money to St. Andrew's Hospice.

Himself took a walk down the woods to the river yesterday. The Clyde was dead flat calm before the wee rapids at Blantyre.
The woods were full of leaves in every colour, fungi sprouting, squirrels and deer. He brought me home edible chestnuts, beechnuts and acorns.
Here's the photo.

cheers,
M

**Barn Owl** · 22-10-2010, 20:41

Thanks folks.

Just like some of the R Ayr there Mary.

It was in spate a bit today when I was down birding and looking for a stick.

**Asa Samuel** · 22-10-2010, 21:20

Most of my pictures aren't of a very good quality so ehre are a couple of jokes:

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble.
In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out.
Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining.
The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out.
The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live."
He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.
The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace."
The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father. The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my back pack."

You don't know how hard it is to think of jokes that don't insult anyone!

**Barn Owl** · 22-10-2010, 21:25

Nice ones Asa

**Miyagi** · 22-10-2010, 21:33

I don't do yon photografick Malarky Tam.

Tis the work o' the De'il!!!

I saw 2 great goals scored this week - both by maurice eddu...

**Barn Owl** · 22-10-2010, 21:37

Originally Posted by Miyagi

I don't do yon photografick Malarky Tam.

Tis the work o' the De'il!!!

I saw 2 great goals scored this week - both by maurice eddu...

Oh Liam ya wee...

I'm actually no a footie fella... I support Ayr Utd..

**Bodge** · 22-10-2010, 21:39

Here is my favorite recent photo taken by Mesquite at the last Rough Close meet. Adam had been scouring the woods for the last 18 months after a vine stick and was very excited to find this one.
Hope this counts.

**Miyagi** · 22-10-2010, 21:43

Great foto! Nice one.

You must be so proud.

**Barn Owl** · 22-10-2010, 21:47

Course it counts Bodge,

Great photo.

**Shambling Shaman** · 22-10-2010, 22:00

But if i'm allowed two

**Mesquite** · 22-10-2010, 22:00

Originally Posted by Bodge

Here is my favorite recent photo taken by Mesquite at the last Rough Close meet. Adam had been scouring the woods for the last 18 months after a vine stick and was very excited to find this one.
Hope this counts.

He's every right to be excited with that vine stick. It's just about the best one I've ever seen and I for one am dead jealous of it

**T1Viper** · 22-10-2010, 22:49

Thanks for the comp Tom, i'll give a quid to charity as well.

heres my photographic effort

Tom

**JonathanD** · 22-10-2010, 23:16

Bushcrafters kids have the most fun....

they get to eat slugs, even if collection and preparing makes them miserable... mmmmm yummmy..

They get to stay out in freezing conditions eating and drinking loadsa choccy...

.... but best of all... they get to shoot guns and make camps...

Money goes to St Tiggywinkles.

**Clueless Turtle** · 22-10-2010, 23:35

Carrying on with the photographic theme.

On a family walk in the woods the other week I turned to be greeted by my eldest lad giving his baby brother a helping hand.

No matter how big or small,
we can all do our bit to help each other out.

Cracking idea regarding the charity donations.
Mine will be sent off post haste.

all the best

**Barn Owl** · 22-10-2010, 23:42

Thanks again,

keep them coming.

Tom,
where the hell did you get a swimming squirrel?

**British Red** · 22-10-2010, 23:56

First catch your squirrel......

**Wilderbeast** · 23-10-2010, 00:40

O.k here's my attempt at a joke.

A load of bankers are having a s****y do at the top of a tower building in London after an all day meeting. When they enter the top floor they find a s****y bar all decked out and, much to their surprise, a drunken tramp sitting in the corner. The tramp is swigging from a giant bottle of Jack Daniels bourbon. The head of the bank goes over to the tramp and asks him what he is doing there. The tramp replies
" I'm here to make a bet with you sir, I reckon I can down this bottle of JD, leap from this top floor window and live to tell the tale."
" How much is the bet?" asks the banker
" £100 to you sir" Being the unethical and immoral man he is the banker gladly accepts the offer to take £100 off the tramp. The tramp then downs his bottle of JD, jumps from the window and appears in the room from the top of the stairs just moments later.
" Alright" says the banker "Double or quits, whatever trick you've got going you can't pull twice" So the tramp drinks a new bottle of JD and repeats his miracle. The banker is in absolute awe of this and asks the tramp what his secret is.
"Well sir" says the tramp "It's the Jack Daniels you see, it can make you fly and do all sorts of tricks."
"Well if you can do it I can" says the banker. So the banker downs his bottle of JD and jumps out of the window. He falls 75 feet, then 50 feet, then 10 feet, then SPLAT! He mink mists into the pavement below.
The whole of the group of bankers are in complete shock, and at this point the barman looks up from his bar and says to the tramp:

"Oh for goodness sake superman will you stop teasing my customers"

**Darkside** · 23-10-2010, 00:54

I don't have any pics either, so here goes.

The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in Manchester , just off Deansgate where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor,

where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework...

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.

There are no men on this floor.. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street with the same rules. (READ ON)

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

Forgot to mention £1 went to Help 4 Heroes

**naefearjustbeer** · 23-10-2010, 01:05

Took my oldest out for a wee paddle in a canoe. Afterwards a hot chocolate was the order of the day.

Fantastic day out paddling our kayaks a borrow of a homemade plywood canoe washed down with some freshly brewed hot chocolate.

**T1Viper** · 23-10-2010, 02:08

Originally Posted by Barn Owl

Tom,
where the hell did you get a swimming squirrel?

I got very lucky! I was out on the busby muir dam in ardrossan fishing from a boat and i thought i was a log drifting along until i did a double take.

The little guy was doing the equivalent of us swimming the channel, he was crossing at the widest point of a 48 acre loch!

I took some pics and followed him to the shore, poor devil didnt realise he swam to the bank with hardly any tree's.

Tom

**DaveBromley** · 25-10-2010, 11:00

Here's a nice view after a day with my nipper on the scotish coast we'd been forraging and cooked our finds on the beach what a day!!

Dave

**Stuart69** · 25-10-2010, 11:20

thanks for the comp Tam, great idea

charity donation sent to Lightburn Hospital.

here's a pic that always makes me smile, sums up a lot of my favourite things about our hobby

**Man of Tanith** · 25-10-2010, 14:15

a photo from me

squid to dr barnardo's

**Barn Owl** · 25-10-2010, 15:02

Thanks all,

Keep them coming.

Comp ends Thurs or Friday.

**Shewie** · 25-10-2010, 16:10

This is a good one for me Tam ...

Boats, beaches, west coast sunsets and a nice warming fire, happy days

Same beach with a bit of artistic license

...

A couple of quid gone to H4H

**T1Viper** · 25-10-2010, 16:48

quid went to Cash for kids

**Shewie** · 25-10-2010, 17:25

Lol, just had Barclays fraud prevention on the phone after I made my donation to H4H

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