And now for a Batch of Biscuits Brown
Prep and cook time:None, just rip the packet open before the next 'Stand To'
Serves:to constipate you for at least four days.
grated rind of 1 pineapple
1 small pebble, polished
3 x 15ml spoons diazipan
few drops pastey brown colouring
15ml spoon gun powder
5ml spoon 'decomposition' essence
a little airfix glue
125g melted masonry drill bits.
Sift the sand into a bowl and rub in the cement until the mixture resembles breadcrumbs. Stir in the bromide, pineapple rind and airfix glue and mix to a soft dough.
Add the essence of decomposition and the 125g of melted masonry drill bits to the remaining dough and knead lightly until completely inedible.
Roll out the dough on a floured surface to a 5mm thickness. Cut out 6 biscuits with a 5cm square fluted cutter.
Colour the dough with the pastey brown colouring until completely un-appetising. Using 3 x 15ml spoonfuls of diazipan, carefully place the drug evenly into the biscuits, so as to not be noticeable to the troops. Finally, carefully position the small polished pebble somewhere in a biscuit in the hope of breaking some poor sods tooth.
Place the biscuits on greased baking sheets and bake in a preheated oven, 190°C, 375°F, Gas Mark 5, for 15-20 minutes. Five minutes before the end of the cooking time, remove from the oven.
Leave the biscuits to cool for a few minutes, then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.
To freeze: Place the biscuits in a green foil wrapper, and then send a load of unwitting individuals out into the countryside with only your biscuits to live on. N.B. To freeze completely, send the same people out again in the bloody winter!