If you go down to the wooods today . . . (Picture heavy)

[Rebel]

You're in for a big surprise.
If you go down to the woods today,
You'll hardly believe your eyes.

Here we have a relatively new species to the British woodlands. Since it was first introduced from it's native urban environment it has been breeding rapidly and can be spotted frequently at any time of the year. The best place for spotting the wild Shopping Trolley is usually in thick shrubs but here it is relaxing in a brook.

Next we have the Burned Out Moped. Here it is basking in one of its favourite locations. A frequent visitor to our British ditches it also enjoys other wetland areas such as this stream.

The old tyre is a firm countryside favourite, just as much at home in local woodland as it is in the inner-city. This fine specimen wandered deep into the local woods and it may have become lost.

Next I managed to capture two separate piles of litter. Extremely popular in all habitats, litter has managed to spread the world over carrying itself in backpacks, pockets, shopping bags, indeed anywhere it can hide. It's human host, upon discovering that it has litter hiding in it's clothing or baggage develops a sudden urge to discard it as quickly as possible. This clever evolutionary technique has helped litter to propagate rapidly all over the world. It is a true evolutionary wonder.

Lastly I want to present my most impressive specimen, the Burnt Out Car. Just how this specimen got into the river is a truly vexing enigma. Unfortunately it burnt and seriously damaged an oak tree but I had to put aside my sentimentality to marvel at this sight.

Look at the beautiful waterfall it has created as it dams up the river.

I think these pictures are proof that our youth and our couch potatoes are getting up from their TVs and video games to get outside and enjoy the environment a little more these days.

[Ogri the trog]

You're in for a big surprise.
If you go down to the woods today,
You'll hardly believe your eyes.

.

I've often thought that these trolleys have committed suicide, fed up with the tedium of supermarket life - perhaps even they have a hankering for the great outdoors!

Its a pity they can't do it in a more considerate way.

Ogri the trog

[PatrickM]

One of my favourite songs and one of the things I hate the most - all in the one post! Bravo a fine presentation with great humour.

[falcon]

Nicely presented and extremely depressing...

[bilko]

If they put half as much effort as getting that trolley to the woods....

Once you stray over the red line with our trolleys you may as well have a one ton clamp on the blummin thing.
As for those litter piles, surely a turner prize winner.
A sorely sobering but good post mate.

[Graywolf]

You never know maybe the beavers have got into driving Thats disgusting,I use to do a lot of work with the BTCV and you get that every where,whether its in the middle of nowhere or the inner city.

[Seagull]

Good post, Reb.

It represents exactly the sort of thing which winds up a lot of folk, bigtime.

They do a nice line in discarded fridges, up my way, also rugs and carpet, with the odd ironing board and kids toys.

Once happened on 12 brandnew neckties, but they weren,t my style.

Still, it was nice of them to give the mini a washdown, just forgot to collect it, eh.

Ceeg

[swyn]

Hey Rebel. It's a sorry state and makes me very angry sometimes, specially with the huge raft of recent waste legislation that has come in recently.
I am surprised that the car is still there as it is VALUABLE ! It is clean scrap and will fetch more than £40.00 at the metal recyclers. This makes me sound like a pikey, although at present burned out cars do not hang around here for more than 24 hrs as the recovery people know this and act quickly to remove them. If they are in the woods and difficult to reach I usually help by picking them up and putting them on the roadside.
A thought perhaps....get the car to a point where it is accessible and fill it with the trolley and moped and strike a deal with someone to remove it?
Swyn.

[Rebel]

I've often thought that these trolleys have committed suicide, fed up with the tedium of supermarket life - perhaps even they have a hankering for the great outdoors!

Its a pity they can't do it in a more considerate way.

Ogri the trog

Perhaps that would normally be the case. But this is a perfect specimen. Most trolleys come into the woods badly injured after a tortuous struggle. Gangs of youths often set about them and vent their prejudices and frustration on them before finally discarding them to die.

The specimen I photographed is a testament to how a trolley can survive a long journey through the city streets (at least three miles) and arrive unscathed into our woodlands. It is truly a credit to it's kind.

[Rebel]

Hey Rebel. It's a sorry state and makes me very angry sometimes, specially with the huge raft of recent waste legislation that has come in recently.
I am surprised that the car is still there as it is VALUABLE ! It is clean scrap and will fetch more than £40.00 at the metal recyclers. This makes me sound like a pikey, although at present burned out cars do not hang around here for more than 24 hrs as the recovery people know this and act quickly to remove them. If they are in the woods and difficult to reach I usually help by picking them up and putting them on the roadside.
A thought perhaps....get the car to a point where it is accessible and fill it with the trolley and moped and strike a deal with someone to remove it?
Swyn.

Amazingly that car has been there for over a year - I have a photograph I took of it last year. I think the reason that it hasn't been taken by scrap dealers is that a) they don't know it's there and b) they (or anybody else) can't get to it without being let in by the council.

I believe it's on public land and I don't know why the council haven't done anything about it. Perhaps I'll call them up and have a go at them. I'm already known to them for bugging them about other things so I guess another call won't hurt.

The problem with removing it is that it will be difficult and IMO the equipment will cause quite a bit of damage to the surrounding area (nothing permanent but it will look ugly for a while, especially because the ground it totally waterlogged right now).

[Rebel]

Good post, Reb.

It represents exactly the sort of thing which winds up a lot of folk, bigtime.

They do a nice line in discarded fridges, up my way, also rugs and carpet, with the odd ironing board and kids toys.

Once happened on 12 brandnew neckties, but they weren,t my style.

Still, it was nice of them to give the mini a washdown, just forgot to collect it, eh.

Ceeg

Yeah, I tried to keep it upbeat. Sad thing is there's plenty more stuff out there but I try not to think about it too much - too depressing.

[Neanderthal]

Rebel,

Its sad to see the old and infirm trolleys that couldn't keep up during the migration. At least it keeps the main herd strong.

Enjoyed the humourous perspective, cheers.

Stu

[longshot]

gross aint it?


its the same here in Newfoundland makes me sick when i walk into the woods and see a washing machine a mile back into the trees when it would have cost less and been easier to drop it at the land fill 10 minutes away.

dean

[Ketchup]

Hey Rebel. It's a sorry state and makes me very angry sometimes, specially with the huge raft of recent waste legislation that has come in recently.
I am surprised that the car is still there as it is VALUABLE ! It is clean scrap and will fetch more than £40.00 at the metal recyclers. This makes me sound like a pikey, although at present burned out cars do not hang around here for more than 24 hrs as the recovery people know this and act quickly to remove them. If they are in the woods and difficult to reach I usually help by picking them up and putting them on the roadside.
A thought perhaps....get the car to a point where it is accessible and fill it with the trolley and moped and strike a deal with someone to remove it?
Swyn.

My neighbour (a metal worker) has an iron scrap pile in the front of his yard. The new phenomenon is that gangs (from Eastern Europe mostly) regularly raid the place for scrap iron. This is a new trend, along with stealing copper cable from rural area's.

Shall I tell the Romanians here to pay a visit to UK to clean up?

[WhichDoctor]

I must say you're local woods are much more varied and exotic in its denizens than mine. It is a very rare and unusual site to see big game like the mighty Burnt Out Car away from its natural habitat on road side verges and wast ground.

But you should always remember that bushcraft doesn't just mean natural, use these urban migrants to your advantage. You could hunt and dismember the Moped and mighty Burnt Out Car for primitive knives and arrow heads. The flesh of the Old Tyre makes excellent secondary tinder and the skin on the female Litter can be melted and used as glue, the skin of the more colorful male Litter can be melted and shaped into colorful beads and ornaments. Also the symbiotic Drinks Can can be made into simple alcohol stoves.

Grate post , and don't let the grind you down.

[Rebel]

I must say you're local woods are much more varied and exotic in its denizens than mine. It is a very rare and unusual site to see big game like the mighty Burnt Out Car away from its natural habitat on road side verges and wast ground.

But you should always remember that bushcraft doesn't just mean natural, use these urban migrants to your advantage. You could hunt and dismember the Moped and mighty Burnt Out Car for primitive knives and arrow heads. The flesh of the Old Tyre makes excellent secondary tinder and the skin on the female Litter can be melted and used as glue, the skin of the more colorful male Litter can be melted and shaped into colorful beads and ornaments. Also the symbiotic Drinks Can can be made into simple alcohol stoves.

Grate post , and don't let the grind you down.

Great, I like it!

How about a "StreetcraftUK" forum for urban bushcrafters? Instead of cursing the fly-tippers, litter louts, filth, dog excrement, etc, why not put it to good use?

Here at StreetcraftUK © ® ™ we provide you with tips from our experts on great practical uses for old rubbish. You used to walk down the streets cursing and slipping in dog poo but soon you'll be seeing these things through new eyes as we show you how to use these things to your advantage.

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If you're planning on sleeping rough we have downloadable maps with all the best doorways and railway arches in London. We plan to expand our maps to the entire country so stay tuned. There's tips on where to find dry cardboard boxes to wrap yourself in too.

Foraging for food? No problem. In our members only section we let you know where and when you can get your hands on free food.

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[ilan]

Perhaps its just me But these pictures offer lots of oppotunities With the piles of litter, a few pictures and a letter or two to your local council/mp along the lines of community service is not cleaning the mayors rollsroyce but cleaning this up ? The old car tyre put it in the deepest nettle bed and cover with as many old sticks/logs etc as possible to provide a little secure habitat . with the old shopping trolly turn it so the open top faces upstream and anchor as secure as possible with some rocks or better still a steel spike and put in some sticks to start it off eventually it will act as a net collecting all the detritus in the water making a small island get a pair to make a small dam . The old car is doing more good where it is as you say acting as a dam chain the doors closed and fill it with rubbish , hopfully things will start to grow in/ thro it with a little help .
Perhaps with a little encouragement some good can come from it see if the council can start a friends group , Or sponser a clean up encourage local youth groups to get involved making bird boxes ,growing planting etc

[stovie]

and that's not because I've given up the weed.....
Good point, well made....