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To Approach a Controversial Subject

Discussion in 'Other Chatter' started by THOaken, Nov 6, 2013.

  1. Goatboy

    Goatboy Full Member

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    Jeez! I try and stay out of online bickering as I've been drawn in before. But there are some folk who just can't stop picking a scab can they. And to read their personal blogs you'd think they were sweetness and light and just doing what THOaken is doing (though wisely/unwisely in real time). Last night he bravely did what I hoped he'd do for a while on his journey and admitted his problems. Yes they do make him seem like Spock or Sheldon to some of you and in a way he is. Learning the nuances of human interaction is very difficult, we can't build a machine to do it it yet and some of us are wired differently. As a kid I was very similar, luckily I had an epiphany at a young idea that I was different, and preffered books, machines and science to people. So at a young age I decided to try to understand folk. I think I've done a pretty good job of that and am lucky that intuition was thrown into my mind mix. But I've made some howlers along the way and have moments where I physically cringe when I think back. THOaken is doing it later and in a very public way, and some great folk have rallied around him and he is learning and coming along. (Sorry for speaking like your not here THOaken). Forgive him a few mistakes, put your point across about mistakes by all means but please don't round on someone like a pack of dogs. Look at DrewDunRespect, One of the site favourites and sorely missed - but a lot of you admitted you didn't know how to take him (well by the throat as one person said) until you understood him.

    THOakens not blameless by any means, but he is trying and I for one think this community would be better not driving folk off.

    Sorry said my piece and hope no-ones offended.

    Colin.
     
  2. Samon

    Samon Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)

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    You don't have to set things right though..

    Dedicating threads about yourself and how you want to change the world in your standard overly poetic, philisophical and annoying manner is bound to bug people. Like i said, just wind it in a bit!

    lol you're not giving people enough time mate, and they need time before they can take you seriously again.. specially after such a itchy display! :D
     
  3. boatman

    boatman Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)

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    I would say simply ignore the negative . Some have a strange attitude to their little world of Bushcraft or even the expression of ideas outside what they perceive of as the norm.

    You are in line with the thinking of the Forestry Commission and of the National Trust who are both encouraging people especially children to get out into the "wild". The Forestry Commission are even sanguine over the erection of dens.
    http://www.forestry.gov.uk/forestry/infd-6pndyf and http://www.forestry.gov.uk/pdf/fce-rope-swings-dens-fires.pdf/$file/fce-rope-swings-dens-fires.pdf

    Please note in the first reference, the Q and A, Q8 "We are not actively encouraging sleeping out at night although young people often do." No condign punishments or even a rough word just an acceptance that it is done.
     
  4. Ivan...

    Ivan... Ex member

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    To my mind, you have been offered support, encouragement, help and positive comments in the main to your threads and questions.

    It was explained to me, quietly your issues, some you have openly posted, because in previous threads you and i have not seen eye to eye, you came across as negative, something you strongly denied, but once i had learn't a little more of you i eased off, because i could have verbally destroyed you, which probably would have ended in a ban for me, you or both!

    Once you have whacked the hornets nest with a stick, it is better to walk away for a couple of hours before returning.

    One thing you should be proud of is the activity you stir up on here, if you can get the gamers half as interested as this, you surely will be destined for success.

    Good Luck.

    "Oh Lord Please, Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood" Can't remember who sang it now.

    Ivan..

    Ooh! I WOULD TAKE TIPS ON NOW! 4/5 OR 1.8...
     
  5. Robbi

    Robbi Full Member

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    well said Colin, i hope the collective "Pack " take note.

    let's have a bit of encouragement here guys.
     
  6. ammo

    ammo Settler

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    Regardless of subject. Threads by THOakon, are the most entertaining, on this forum.
     
  7. shaggystu

    shaggystu Full Member

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    You're right that it's all about perspective and mindset, for some reason you have the mindset that people's perspective of you is a bad one. It isn't, plain and simple. I have no opinion of you at all, no prior idea about who you are, I have not pre-judged you, and I'm pretty sure that a lot of other people feel just the same as I do. I've said it a couple of times now in this thread and I'll say it again, I have no idea if you're a normal teenager or an offensive little troll, but it makes no difference, my comments are still my comments.

    What I'm trying to say is don't worry so much about your "terrible reputation", I'm guessing that out of the nearly 30,000 members of this forum you're probably the only one who thinks that you have a terrible reputation in the first place.

    I was given the following piece of advice from a man much wiser than myself some years back, it's good advice.

    "If something that someone says to you could be taken in two different ways, and one of those ways causes offence, they meant the other one" :)

    I'm finished with this thread now.

    All the best,

    Stuart.
     
  8. Clouston98

    Clouston98 Woodsman & Beekeeper

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    Wise words :).
     
  9. Stew

    Stew Bushcrafter through and through

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    I just thought it was harping on and on and on.....

    Again and again.....

    I think you do more damage to yourself than anyone else does to you.
     
  10. Huon

    Huon Native

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    Well said! I couldn't agree more.
     
  11. British Red

    British Red M.A.B (Mad About Bushcraft)

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    Thank you Colin - I was going to make a post, but you have said everything I would wish to say - but, as usual, more eloquently. People need to learn to recognise that, particularly in the young, being different is tough - and round on those who are different is not helpful. If you find them irritating (as I do with a few members), just put them on ignore.
     
  12. redandshane

    redandshane Native

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    I can hear the groans from certain parts as I type(Ivan) but I have to say there is something interesting going on this thread was started at after 1 Pm today and has garnered a huge response What i notice is there have been practical offers, supportive advice,things I strongly agree with; Goatboys post in particular had me nodding in agreement.

    Also some slightly constructive critical. Still it rolls along. I think the advice to get involved in something existing is very sound I also think Ivans offer was genuine and generous and to add to that if the OP wants to join Ivan in Dartmoor to get some experience then i would be willing to support him with this utilising my meager skills in all their forms

    I am sure some others in our relaxed band would have plenty to offer as well. my main point has already been made by many of my peers in this thread you have to step away from the keyboard and put your money where your mouth is otherwise its difficult to get respect/credibilty anywhere

    I suspect I may be a bit late for this particular meet but anyway there you go
     
  13. decorum

    decorum Full Member

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    Nina Simone. A great talent both cursed and gifted by a mental disorder (Bipolar Disorder), broke a lot of barriers by being _that little bit different_ ;) .

    [video=youtube;9ckv6-yhnIY]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpag e&v=9ckv6-yhnIY[/video]
     
  14. Ivan...

    Ivan... Ex member

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    Hey Steve, my offer was and still is most genuine, whether it be alone with his brother, some pals, or hopefully with a group of gamers, inquisitive enough to give it a try, you for one know that mate.

    But as he has explained, he wants to settle in England for a bit and find his feet, and has asked me to leave it, i will, there is no time limit on the offer either.

    Sorry to talk as if you were absent THEoaken

    Regards.

    Ivan...
     
  15. THOaken

    THOaken Native

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    This is the last thing I'm going to say before I leave the forum for a few weeks.

    I have figured out the root cause of my recent mindset. I had a negative experience with a college course and I've had to leave Scotland behind and my few friends I've known for most of my life all in the space of a few months. Now that I'm in Hampshire I'm going to slowly settle down and come to terms with all of this. I'm going to make that spoon and I'm going to visit Butser ancient farm and see about volunteering.

    Farewell for now.
     
  16. Samon

    Samon Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)

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    If/when you get back on, we'd love to se more than one carving project! and you better know your new local foragables! ;)

    good luck mate, time outs are good!
     
  17. Goatboy

    Goatboy Full Member

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    Good luck on your journey THOaken, it will be long and hard take that from me, but also remember that it never ends and it gets more enjoyable.

    Have fun,
    Colin.
     
  18. The Joker

    The Joker Native

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    Well said!

    Sadly I think this and a couple of other threads have shown some true colours. :(

    Good luck THOaken, and keep ya chin up!
     
  19. rik_uk3

    rik_uk3 Banned

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    THOaken, you can stop all this nonsense very easily. Keep stumm for a while, pack your kit and go camping. You've had fabulous and generous offers from members here which will save you money you may not have to fund paid for courses. You've moved from one part of the UK to another but its only a few hundred miles, its no big deal. How many offers of trips did you have when you lived in Scotland (you may have had a lot, I've no idea)? You have firm offers of meets, take them up. England is a small place, if your not happy at the meet just pack up and go in the evening or morning; public transport is pretty good certainly in the south and I doubt there are many meets you could not get to via train or bus or perhaps a lift depending upon your location.

    Do a few trips and photobucket is your friend, post the pictures and trip reports...it has to be a win win situation for you lad. You won't get it all right on your first trips, come to that you won't always get it right after a hundred trips but you'll be seen to be trying and not couchcrafting or over justifying your wants.

    Give it a go, it will help you; that said, this time of the year don't go on your own.
     
    #160 rik_uk3, Nov 6, 2013
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2013

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